Scream out loud

I am beside myself. I worked hard in my work place putting on a smile. I am overwhelmed but I kept them inside me. I can't bear it at times. At times, I throw my bag on the floor. 


There is always paper work to attend plus long meetings with no impact.


Coming home to house work is toxic. There is mess everywhere. It's not good enough I want to throw the whole lot out of the windows. On bad days, I want to throw something and scream and curl in the corner and disappear and go away for a long long time.I do need to SCREAM SCREAM why should I have this not FAIR......
After gym , I will view my house work differently. I know I am tired, burnt out but I will be usual self after food.

post mortem of bullies in work place

When I read my previous blog on friendship, I noticed that I was bitter and hurt. Now, I am aware that I too hold a part to blame trusting friends such as A too much. Where do I go from here?
Options are:
a) change work place?
b) Be the silent victim or villian?
c) Hold my head high up?
d) Quit the job?
e)Confront the pack of wolves?
My end solution is just avoid them hoping that karma does exist.

FRIENDS OR FOE?

It is one thing to highlight is the need of friendship in school or work place. A simple need to feel fitted in a atmosphere.

But as we grow older, friends get less as we become more busy or even more choosy. In my current work place which I joined in 2007, I was pretty a lone trying my best maybe in loneliness, I become close to a new friend named A. Some one out of the blue advised me to be careful of A. I did not think much since A was nice  and friendly.

 After 6 years, one fine day, I saw her true colours of biting me calling me names that was uncalled for in defense of her buddies of same colour. Bom exploded like a tsunami hit me right in the face.I knew that at that very moment who were my friends and who was the not. Her friends confronted me two days in a row. On the first day, I broke down in my working place. I was really hurt. The next day, the pack of wolves came at me again. I felt so bullied since I was more than 10 years older.I was much calmed now . The SHE wolf said really unpleasant words. I gave her a weak smile.
The showdown became the talk of my working place. Suddenly, I became the villian of the drama. But the real drama queen was A adding fire to the pack of wolves feeding them poison abt my secret which I shared with her in lonely times.
While on a holiday away, they gossiped abt me from head to tail. Of course, I knew cause when I came back, my friends were more than happy to share the yummy gossip. All I could say was God do exist and mind your karma.
Conclusion:
a) Be wise in choices of friends.
b) In the darkest moment, be careful what you share for one day it might bite you so hard.
c) Bullying do happen but for ladies, the words are MOST TOXIC>
d) A and I are so over. I cannot bear to see her face. Of course, I was too naive in 2007, A taught me a good lesson. Keep your friends close but your enemy closer.

Dream Part 2

Day Two
After breakfast , we were ready for a day tour in London. Started from Marble Arch, we boarded an open double decker bus.

My guide for the tour.

The day tour.

If I am kid, I will love this place. The biggest toy shop in London.

If you drink too much, surely one will end up there in DOOM BAR.

River cruise. From far, I could see St Paul.A good way of seeing London.

Susah to smile... so very cold.

Shakespeare Centre. I personally like the beautiful old buildings in London.

The famous bridge. A beautiful site.

Dream Part 2

After a wonderful sleep in -1c, I was prepared to venture out for a day tour with Faye. We joined the Big Tour. Saw the Marble Arch .. nice and big.

Dream Part 1

I never believe in the saying.. Dreams do come true. Maybe I am too negative abt the life. When my kid told me ' Mama, I got ticket for you to fly to London' . I was too shocked to express my happiest. Of course it is my dream to go London.

My breakfast on board after hours on flight. On the way to London , I was lucky to be seated upper deck of A 380. When i walked out of the airport, I said OMG.. it is not cold by Bloody COLD.... 4C. I cannot express the feeling of cold but I did not like it.
After a nap to clear the jetlag, shopping here I went to Primark. It was really crowded with ppl all over the world. I even met malaysian speaking in LAH and SEJUK GILA.See we do not fall far from the trees.

Lunch in Bayswater. The duck is fantastic so soft and sweet. A must TRY in London. I dare not look into the bill which might give me a heart attack.

A nearby park where I was staying. Since it was early spring, not much flowers were seen but I saw a tame squirrel in the beautiful park.

My new home

Hurray.. I did it by moving all my belongings and Faye into my froggie to new horizon but the journey was absolutely tiring and wearing me down.
Packing was a total nightmare for me cos i took more than one month to move forth and back .I was tired out . next, my unit came problem from plumbing system where i had to hire two different plumber to locate the leaks. After that, I discovered two leakage from higher floors. Had to repair since water was leaking into my hall.
I don't wish any woman on her own has to go thru.
I am thankful that my former student helped to repaint my units, put up cabinets and fixing my home. Without him, i am totally lost like a fish out of water. So there is good to be a caring teacher . I reaped the fruit that i sowed many years ago.Believe in good karma.

He did the mirrors by himself. It is a beautiful gift.

By the way, his mother was so sweet that made all the goodies for my CNY.

This laminating floor was also completed by him in a day. All i did was to sit and watch. He really did a good job for my dry kitchen.Bravo my free contractor.